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I had a bit of a cancer to-do recently. Before I went on retreat I finally told my doctor that I was experiencing pains in my rib cage and because breast cancer can so often metastasize into bone cancer, that possibility loomed.
I was scheduled to have a PET scan but begged to put it off until after my retreat which was really a great thing for the mind - yes, of course I thought about it but was able to muster a lot of serenity around the issue...it is what it is.
I had the test very shortly after my return and the other day got an "All Clear" call. Whew. Still don't know what the pains are, but it's not bad - I can live with it and at least it's not the big C.
I actually hadn't realized how much I'd put my life and any future plans on hold but once I got the "All Clear" I started the future engines rolling again.
I have an appointment with a gentleman at AAA to map out my cross-country trip - I'm planning to drive across the country, southern route going and northern on the return. I've got a very basic start, now it's the next step: what sort of car to rent, how much I can expect to spend on gas, best time to set off, etc. etc. Then there will be another layer of information needed.
The planning is one of the best parts - I know I won't be able to see everything but it's something I've always wanted to do and this is the youngest I'm ever going to be so I don't want to let another year pass by.
Also I simply have to get to England this year and I'm toying with visiting Australia...so I have lots of plans and wishes. Just hope I have the finances to support the dreams.
My retreat wasn't long enough - there was a time when I was able to go away for at least two months every year but now that's just not possible: time and finances, however, I have set aside the month of November to sit. It's so odd, every time before I go I always have a moment when I think: why on earth am I doing this? And then two days into it, I wonder why I'm not doing this my whole life. As one of my teachers says: it's the hardest thing he's ever done and all he ever wants to do.
I just recently read again Dicken's A Christmas Carol and I watched the movie. What a timeless, loving message, so poignant. I think I should read it regularly, to keep the spirit of Christmas always in the heart.
I find myself wanting to make a defense of Mother Teresa.
Because she and I were close I am sometimes confronted by ignorant people who seem to take delight in tearing her down to me. Of course we only tear down that which we don't understand or feel is above us in some way. So many of those who decry her feel they're vastly superior quoting Christopher Hichens who wrote a scathing article about her - but unbeknownst to most, he later apologized to her, but naturally, didn't write about that! Of course she had absolutely no idea what he was going on about and could have cared less that people spoke badly about her. She'd also think it ridiculous that I want to defend her, she doesn't really need defending. I'll think on it.
Like so many, I'm absolutely hooked on Downton Abbey what great Sunday viewing - love it. And next week it will be followed by Benedict Cumerbatch playing Sherlock Holms, delicious.
I seem to have very few speaking engagements for 2014 which is good in a way because it frees me up to travel but along with no speaking engagements, I have nothing in the future where I can see money coming my way. Could get very dicey with absolutely no income. Here's trusting in the Universe - but there are millions living in abject poverty or who just can't make ends meet, why do I think I'm so special?
Oh well. 'til next time.
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